Again. My hand is recovering from the garage door that was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Truth is. I lost my dad. When he passed, those teachings of putting my hands in my pockets, I didn’t want to. I’m mad. I’m hurt. I’m so fucking hurt. He left and when he…
So Much…
So much and in so little time. I don't get this. I don't understand it and in ways I don't want to understand it. There's a side of me that is hidden, there's a side that I don't show unless it's forced out. This afternoon, it came out. For years I've been the black sheep.…
Something cool
I've missed this. Being able to sit down and share my thoughts while still using a keyboard. Everyone is all about this touch screen life... I don't know that I'm all about that yet. I really do miss the times when I was growing up. Cell phones weren't something that everyone had or needed to…
Today I learned something…
Well I decided that I wasn't just going to have you tell my family how you feel. So I texted you... That was dumb. I find that history is repeating it's self. Someone who gave you everything you ever wanted, the lust, the lack of arguments, instant apology. Someone who is terrified to lose you.…
Christmas
"don't you mean OUR house" "my second and last wife" I had it all gone. All the memories. All the lies. It was gone. Then you came back, you made it easy. You opened a door for a new beginning to an old flame. You chose to light that flame. Then you put it out…
Amnesia
It happened again... I opened up, it was only for a second but he saw the opportunity and he took it. He was let in, saw the real me again, only for a second but that was enough. "I love you" "I can't do this to her... or you" That's just it. I'm always second.…
Provocative thought of the day…
I found something very entertaining while I was sitting in the airport this morning. Men, they can get away with so much. "I'm good with the ladies" and we all laugh. It seemed as though we all thought it was cute that he said such a thing... Are men just the puppies of our lives?…
Fucked up again… Surprised?
I knew the distance wouldn't work... more or less I knew that if he didn't fight for me, I wasn't going to even try. I got crushed once... it hurt, bad. I've had a lot of time to think... I hide a lot from my partner. Whenever something is going wrong in my own personal…
this.life 