I knew the distance wouldn’t work… more or less I knew that if he didn’t fight for me, I wasn’t going to even try.

I got crushed once… it hurt, bad.

I’ve had a lot of time to think… I hide a lot from my partner.
Whenever something is going wrong in my own personal life, I don’t share.
Those feelings build up and haunt me until I release them, or release that person.

That’s just not fair.

I tried talking about it tonight… no one was listening.
This is probably why I bottle everything up.
I listen, I care, and I offer advice that’s not going to hurt you.
However when I just need someone to listen, somehow what ever it is I am saying it wrong…
I’m still not sure how a true chain of events that happened to my own personal life could be wrong but then again I was wrong about electricity too. Did you know that leaving lights on actually saves you money vs. unplugging them… I didn’t either. (WTF)

I’ll find him.
He’ll be strong, mentally and physically.
He’ll know me, everything about me.
When he tells me he loves me, my heart will skip a beat.
-Not just the first time, every time.
When I say everything is ok, he’ll know it’s not.
He will stand up for me.
But most of all.
He will move heaven and earth to be with me.

He’s out there. Somewhere. I’ll be ok for now.