Monday struck with truth.

I had made a promise to be honest with another human but what about myself? Was I truly being honest with myself and my situation?

There was a lot that I was holding on to and it wasn’t because of that person, it was because it was things that I had allowed to happened. These situations that I was put into, I should have said something and kept moving instead of getting involved like I had.

I’m sitting here at work thinking I should really start venting some of this, I just don’t know where to start.

I look at how much time and energy I have spent thinking I can fix this, thinking that this feeling will fade, that the pain will just go away with time… I’ve been so wrong and lying to myself.

Today was a different feeling. That feeling of truly being alone. Who do I call when I need a ride home? Who do I call when my car doesn’t start…
The best part is, I was able to figure both of these questions out in a simple way. My neighbor was able to pick me up and my co-worker who was genuinely concerned, gave my car a jump… talk about being surrounded by good people… and girl power!

I’m home now and where I would normally sink into the couch, turn on Netflix and wait for someone to come home, I’m in my room enjoying what I’ve created. This simple work space filled with a college atmosphere for a grown adult… well kind of.

As I look around I see this tapestry that I bought on a whim, a lamp I re-painted, my crazy dressers and my old school boom box from when I was in high school playing awesome music as I ramble on this post. This is simple. And the cocoon of pillows I have made isn’t half bad either.

I know I can get through this. I am strong and I’m beginning to feel like it as well. Just have to keep moving, keep going. I have no reason to look back or anyone telling me that I should look back.