Why do I come here.

Why do I chose this one.

When I just can’t see, when I just can’t understand and when I don’t have the strength or the patience to do so.

I’m frustrated at the ones who walk around like they own the place, spitting orders and telling others to do things that they should be doing. I’m frustrated with the fact they tell us to act professional and then run around and play games with the chosen favorites. I hate that they have their favorites and that you have to kiss their butts everyday just to stay up there. I hate the face that they only pay attention to the ones that are already succeeding instead of the ones that need the help the most.

“Let it go”

I don’t see how I can. Give it another couple weeks and it will be the same thing all over again. I won’t be able to “let it go” as you say until I understand it and this just seems like something I won’t understand until it threatens his job again. I’ve made a few comments today and it seems as if everyone has the same answer. They don’t understand why or how either.

Let’s talk about why I’m so irritable today.
Well it’s been colder today than any other day, and that’s saying a lot. I walked in and you looked at me, noticed me and everything was normal… until the talking to when we were both up front. Since then, completely different. I don’t like the switch. You can’t go from warm and welcoming to cold and turned off in a matter of minutes with the way you interact with me. You can’t approach me one moment and avoid me the next. Acknowledge me and then walk around me. Now, there was a moment where I was busy, but there were many more where I wasn’t. Am I whining? Am I being needy? All I’m gathering from this, is I’ve become too attached and need to back off. Days like today hurt, they suck and I want them to end. Days like today make me stand back, evaluate and worry. I hate it. Days like today make me want simple, honest, and open… Just to know how you feel. Not a cover, no avoiding the topic, just SOMETHING to remind me like “hey, I miss you, I can’t wait until tonight.” or “hey, I know I can’t talk to you today, but know that I love you.”

Just anything to help me remember why you have to be cold or uninterested towards me. Just something to help me with the “show” that we have to put on instead of making me feel like the love sick band geek chasing the baseball star.